OK. So here begins Cat's adventures in blogging. Let's start with an in depth look at Cat's habit of reaching too far in the realm of boys. She is completely unable to feel satisfied with boys who are in her league. Actually I am not sure I even have a league. If I did I'm fairly certain JK is not within it. Considering we've been together for over 2 and half years, yet he finds cardboard to be much more interesting than Cat, I'd say I'm pretty far from his level.
I've just decided I'm not going to spell check this blog or reword sentences for grammatical clarity, so any readers on this great wide web will have to deal with my hastily written imperfections. I can't focus on grammar and dissect emotions at the same time. And now back to your regularly scheduled blog...
Anyway I think it says a lot about me when I can't compete with cardboard for his affections. I mean, he barely has to think about which to choose. If he truly feels for me the way he claims, shouldn't it bother him to choose MTG over me time and time again? Shouldn't I at least be a competitor who occasionally stands a shot at winning? The last time I remember "winning" was when he chose prom over regionals. But even then he lets his friends talk crap about how whipped he is and what a bitch I am for making him go to the stupid senior prom. How is that fair? I don't know what he wants from me. Half of the time, I don't even know why we are together. But when I forget about all of the bullshit, he makes me happy. I just wonder sometimes why we date each other when we make each other so unhappy. I think he needs to find a girl who understands his MTG obsession more than I do. I've tried, I really have. I learned to play, both casually and in tournaments. I'm not even that frigging bad at it. But it's just a game to me, and I don't understand how it could ever be more than that.
But if we disregard JK completely, we can better observe Cat's habit of overextending her potential in the realm of the Y chromosome. Let us take, for instance, the case of W. A boy who was clearly too clever, good-looking and talented to be with Cat. But she chased him anyway, and fell hard. He never even pretended like it would work out. He told me he would break my heart and he held his end of the bargain well. Of course, he was more feasible than Cat's current boy of choice. At least W was pretty much void of morals or a conscience. I could have had him if I would have been happy with a roll in the hay and a secret friendship. But along with my many other shortcomings, I am greedy. I wouldn't settle for "friends with benefits" so I couldn't have him. But really, I've yet to find a chink in J's armor. But this entry is already much longer and angsty than I intended, so I'll save my mess of emotions for the next time. -Peace out
